Still deeply dealing with the loss of my son

Last November my wife and I sadly discovered that our baby that was due in February was without a heartbeat.  We were in hell.  How could our baby be dead.  Why us?  We were so exicited to be parents and dreamed every day about our kid and what he or she would be like.   My wife delieverd our Son five days after we found out our baby was gone.   I cried during her labor.  I prayed during her labor.  I asked why this had to happend to us.  I asked God to redeme this situation.   When our kid came out I exclaimed like any other proud father, “It’s a boy!”, it was bitter sweet.  Well mostly bitter.  I wanted to be a father so bad.   I dreamed about how I would craft his hart to naturaly follow God.  I wanted so bad for him to see the beautiful creation in the ways I do.  I wonder if he would have been the type to get his hands dirty playing in the backyard.   Would he try to bring earthworms into the house as pets?  I wonder how many pet rocks he would have hiding in his bed.   Would he have want my help learning how to ride a bike?  I have so many dreams that will have to wait for our next child.

My body achs all the time.  I still don’t sleep well though the night.  Grief is such an odd thing.  Today I was editing a TV promo for a Kids fair we host every year.  I was using video from last years event for my spot.  It hurt my soul evertime I scrubbed past video of a father with his son.  I did not use any father son video for that project.  Losing Elpida Matthew still hurts way to much.

Looking backwards…need to look forward

Northstar Cafe I miss you.

Short North I miss you.

High Street I miss you.

Grandview I miss you.

OSU campus I miss you.

Clintonville I miss you.

Franklinton I even miss you.

I miss all my friends that you find in these places.  I have been thinking a lot about my Columbus life lately.   I really miss my friends and family that I left behind to chase after dreams.  I am living out a dream of mine, working on high quality TV and Documentary programs but I left behind one of my other dreams, living in intentional Christian community.  I miss saying prayers with my house mates every morning.  I miss sharing meals with multiple people many nights through the week.  I miss being with people who can relate to my spiritual journey in many different ways.   A new dream, build Christian community here in BG.

Kelli and I are doing really good despite my above writings.   We are very excited for our new kid on the way.
Last week I felt the baby move for the first time.  It was an amazing experience.   I keep felling Kelli’s belly for more little taps on her skin.  I love our little one on the way.   This weekend I painted most of the baby’s room.  It’s tan with one wall covered with brown, green and tan checker squares.  our kids is going to be so hip!

Life in the country…

I work on a lot of agricultural stories since I live in the heart of farm country…  Watch a story I produced on a 4-h kid who shows lambs.  It’s in the last half of the half hour show.  I wanted to understand what it took to get a market lamb ready to be shown for the country fair and auction.  Their is a lot of work that goes into it.  A lot of patience and determination!

http://www.wbgu.org/community/local/focusnwo/archives/player2.php?recid=826

I don’t have much to say here anymore.

Life is so interesting in person that I don’t ever remember to talk about life or issues I’m thinking about on this blog.  Over the past year and a half I have learned a lot about life.  Go slow.  Appreciate those around you that love you.  Take time to garden and watch the beautiful creation around you.  It is amazing.  Don’t worry to much about money and follow Jesus.  That’s about all that’s been on my mind.  You should see that garden I have in the backyard.  Holy Tomato!   Next year I’m not going to plant as many tomato plants as this year.   I’m going to try a greenhouse garden this fall and see if I can keep things growing till December or beyond.   Hey, I’m in BG and have nothing better to do.

Working on a new documentary with my co-workers on  one room schoolhouses.  I’m not the DP on this project but still got to be on the crew for the first shoot.    We brought out the dolly and tracks for some sweet moves and the video looked amazing.  I was the second camera on this shoot getting various medium and tight shots of the action.   We had several actors reenacting a 1930’s one room school house scene.

Busy…

I am thinking a lot today about alternative community.  I really long for some crazies to join Kelli and I and live out our faith and values in some close nit Christian community where we share many moments together a week while being in our neighborhoods loving others.

I’m still training for my Grand Canyon trip a few times a week climbing steps and taking long walks with my pack and the dog.  Kelli and I have been jumping into the life of a small Christian house church here in BG.  They have been encouraging.   We are still hosting people for dinner often.   I’m always finding house projects to fill my evenings and weekends.  We are traveling a lot see friends…

I can’t wait for spring!!!  I’m starting to plan our first garden.

Landing Place 2002-2008

I really believe in the spiritual community called Landing Place that Mark Palmer founded five or six years ago.  I believe in it so strongly that every where I go I want to be part of a Christian community that does life with each other in the most radical of ways…  Challenge each others faith, share meals together, pray daily with others and even share property and homes.   I left the community to follow a dream of producing documentaries…  Since I’ve left the community they have fallen apart… not because I left.  It was dying when I left.  We all made following Jesus’ to complicated.  Tonight I think the people from the community are ending the LP.  The ideas of the gathering from 64 King that began over love and a meal several years ago will go on in my house.  I hope it continues in the homes of all my other LP friends.

The Landing Place is a community of friends and neighbors that “do life” together. The central theme of this life is a shared passion for following Jesus. We often gather in each others homes to share meals, have conversations, read Scriptures, tell stories, study the teachings of Jesus, sing songs, pray prayers, recite poetry, and practice liturgies.

Sometimes a few of us will meet in a coffee house or pub for spiritual and/or philosophical discussion, or to talk about a book we’ve currently read and found meaningful.

We also like to throw worship parties in our art studio. Our parties usually involve some or all of the following: candles, loud music, incense, quiet music, visual art, food, sitting, standing, meditation, dialogue, monologue, songs, and ancient prayers.

There are certain things we value that shape who we are as a church. They are:

Following Jesus (because we consider him to be not only the finest teacher that ever lived, but also the Messiah.)

Being Creative (because we are made in the image of the Creator, and seek to make Him known through our creations.)

Sharing Life (because life is best experienced together in community.)

Making Peace (because Jesus asked us to not only love our friends, but also our enemies.)

Loving Our Neighbors (because being a good neighbor is one of the most valuable things you can do.)

The Story (because to value the lives of those who have gone before us is to make our own stories richer.)

Living Missionaly (because living as a “sent” people allows people to see Jesus, and experience him for themselves.)

We are artists, students, thinkers, parents, mystics; but more than anything we’re just people on a journey. We always enjoy meeting new friends who are also on the journey. Hopefully we can meet soon over a cup of coffee and a story.

Skittles are Tempting…

Skittles are Tempting…

Originally uploaded by matthew blinn

A friend and I are giving each other photo assignments every week due on Sunday nights and this past week assignment was “Color”. This photo is what I turned into him. Macee D. is eying up a bowl of skittles.

Can you be?

Can you be a follower of Jesus without community (church)?   Since leaving Columbus I have been without a church body to really sink my life into.  Have I stopped following Jesus since I’m not living my life out in a community of believers?  I’m still trying to be faithful to his teachings but without the rest of the church body am I really a Christian?

I ask this question because of the what Paul says in his book to the Corinthians…. you know when he is talking about how the body of believers functions together to make the body of Christ.  By myself I am just a strange eye ball bouncing down the street.

Francis Xavier

Francis Xavier… More photos on my flickr page

Merry Christmas!

I hope for a very special and simple Christmas to all of you. I hope you find life and joy without all the stress that our world seems to deliver this time of year. Take time to breathe and enjoy every moment. Do that all year long. Don’t make a big deal about gifts… instead make a huge deal about the people in your life. Tell them that you love them, make that your real Christmas gift to them this year. Merry Christmas!

Photo Gallery

I’ve made a Photo Gallery page for you to see my photos. It could be updated often but probably not. You will see a couple of photos from the honeymoon, a bridge that connects Grandview to Franklinton and a couple of extras from this years journey. Life here in BG is busy. I’m hand creating all my Christmas gifts this year. Some of it is original art. The gifts I’m most excited about are the ones where I’m taking something old and giving it new life. I hope my family enjoys what my heart brings to the Christmas tree this year.

Redcay… this one is for you.

Kitchen Renovation DONE!

What do you think? A big change!

Blinntoberfest 2007

  Blinntoberfest was a smash hit.  Thanks to all our sweet friends who made it… maybe we’ll have another blinntypefest soon for the rest of our sweet friends who could not attend.  Good Beer, Cider, conversation, food was enjoyed by all.   It’s raining outside… boo.